hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
