I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
