East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize