Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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