At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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