Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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