I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
