I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
