Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
