problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I only lived at night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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