just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just google imaged poop.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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