There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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