What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
