we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Couch. On fire.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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