i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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