Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
