Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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