Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
