I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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