how can u be prego again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
