i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
