: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
