i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
