Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize