Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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