batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
