dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
