I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
