can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
