apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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