gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
