He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize