how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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