Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
