He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You took a bar mat shot.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
