You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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