I bet he comes in French.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
