definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize