Where did you get a picture of my penis
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
