I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUCK WHALES
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
