Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
