at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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