please come you make the beer taste better
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
