if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
