Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
