After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
