I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
