Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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