doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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