What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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