please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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