Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
