I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
