why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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