TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
