yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
