are you still at the devil's house?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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