can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
