Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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