once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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