new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The uberlube is also flammable
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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