He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
