Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize