he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
