theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
